


Burn

by StrangeBlueGlow



Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Cassidy's POV, Episode: s01e07 He Gone, Gen, I'm Sorry, More of a Everything Is Exactly as Bad as It is in Canon But Now You Feel Worse About It, Not A Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7474845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeBlueGlow/pseuds/StrangeBlueGlow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was far from the first time Cassidy had felt his flesh burning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn

It was far from the first time Cassidy had felt his flesh burning. Usually it was an accident, a result of failing to pay attention to how the sunlight shifted through a window as it rose or set and getting scorched, or occasionally he’d stick a hand out into the light intentionally, watching the flames lick away at his skin only for it to grow back good as new soon after he put himself out, just to make sure that it still did.

It wasn’t even the first time he had felt his flesh burning like this. But that had been a long time ago, a lifetime even, and he hadn’t walked out into the mid-day sun hoping that he’d be put out that time. He’d changed his mind, of course, just about as the reality of no longer existing set in sometime around when the nerves really  burned away and he couldn’t feel the pain anymore. If he believed in that sort of thing, he would have considered it a miracle that he was able to drag himself back into the shadows and roll enough to get the flames out. He did consider it a gift, though, to learn that no matter how much he hated himself or what he was or living on any worst given day he could imagine, it was all bliss compared to not being.

That was the gamble he was taking here in front of Jesse’s church: not being anymore. Cassidy was no stranger to gambling, but these were much higher stakes than he’d ever played before. If this didn’t pay off no more heroin in his veins, no more annoyed but fond looks from Jesse over a shared bottle of whiskey, no more disbelieving laughs from Tulip that broke his heart but somehow only made him adore her more, no more... anything.

He was starting to believe that he’d made a bad bet by the time he’d collapsed in a heap in front of Jesse. At first he could still hear his own screams above the crackle of burning flesh, so that was a good sign. His lungs and throat were still intact, and so were his ear drums. It was all coming out as wordless agony, though, which was a bit of a shame. He had quite a lot he wanted to be saying. 

_ Help me _ , for one thing.  _ Please, don’t let me burn _ , as another. 

_ We’re best mates, you’re not going to let me die. _

_ You didn’t mean to send that boy to hell, and you don’t want to watch me burn either _ .

_ There’s good in you; this Genesis thing is just twisting it around, making it even harder than it already is to see what’s really right. _

_ I believe in you, Jesse Custer _ .

_ I love you. _

Damned shame that he couldn’t get any of those words out, really.

It didn’t take long for the screaming to stop though, and then the feeling started fading. 

Cassidy wished that the numbness brought him any relief. 

There was nothingness for what Cassidy assumed was a while, eternity, possibly - it was very hard to gage time when you weren’t getting any sensory inputs - but was in reality not very long at all. Just long enough for Jesse to realize what he was seeing and react, figuring out how to use the old fire extinguisher, really, but the vampire had no idea of that until the pain started again. It was sharp and bright and excruciating and absolutely the best thing that Cassidy had ever felt in his life.

It would take a while, and quite a bit of blood for that matter, for Cassidy to fully knit himself back together, but he hadn’t been going too hungry recently, so his more important parts started reforming and healing pretty quickly once he was dragged into the shade of the east side of the church. His vision came in blurrily and his hearing was worse, and he knew that if he was making sounds at all they had no chance of being words yet, much less the ones he wanted to say ( _ Thank you. You’re my best mate; I knew you wouldn’t let me down, Jess. _ ), but he could tell that Jesse was standing over him, saying something. It could have been “Stay here, I’ll be back,” or “Leave and never come back,” or maybe “What was that, Cassidy? Jesus fuck,” he really had no idea. He’d just have to wait for either Jesse to return, or for night to fall and his body to repair itself enough for him to leave. 

**Author's Note:**

> "Hey, I'll write fix-it fic!" I said to myself and then I just got going and... didn't... fix... anything...
> 
> Come be too emotionally compromised to reblog gifsets of Cassidy on fire with me at [my tumblr.](http://isthatanapplepipe.tumblr.com)


End file.
